What Is Your Greatest Fear?

My greatest fear can be summed up in one word.

Me.

I am scared of this person that I am becoming.

I am scared that I will wake up one morning and see a stranger in a mirror, a foreigner in my own body.

I am scared that I may veer off the path I was always taught to walk on.

I fear greater still, not finding the path I was always meant to tread.

I am scared of my silence, that it will make me a pushover given time. A thinking, feeling person, who lets others walk all over her because she is too scared to talk.

I am scared of my voice, which will make me a Terror. A nuisance who never lets up once a grievance occurs.

I am scared of my kindness, that it will make people take advantage of me, because they know I will always come through, even when they do not deserve it, and when it takes everything from me.

I am scared of my wickedness, that I will soon morph into a devil, an unthinking creature who goes all the way to prove a point, to have my revenge, to right perceived wrongs.

I am scared of being poor, for it will make me lose my pride and esteem amongst my peers. The wretched of the earth, scum in human flesh.

But I am also scared of being rich, I fear it will make me forget myself, my roots my humble beginnings and turn me into something other.

I am scared of power, I am scared of the weird surge that goes through my cranium, whenever I encounter more than my fair share of it. I am scared of forgetting the needs of the weak and exerting my influence in a bid to have my way.

I am scared of being vulnerable, and powerless against whatever life throws at me.

So I wake up each day, cursed to bear the burden of my own existence. Forced to walk this thin line between good and evil; forced to remember who I was yesterday; forced to decide who I will be today; forced to think of the person the sum total of all my actions will become. And it scares me.

My greatest fear is me.