Lady in Waiting
I recently stumbled upon the book Lady in Waiting and it was a very insightful read. It is specifically written for single women who struggle with societal expectations for them to date, get into relationships, and get married.
This book gave me awareness of the fact that there is a wrong way to wait and a right way to wait, not just for marriage and relationships but in life generally. A major thing that stuck with me was to be occupied with service while waiting, and not in the sense that service should be used as a distraction from the oh-so-tedious burden of waiting. Instead, service should be seen as an outlet to glorify God with our free time, discover our purpose, passion, and calling, and ensure that other people are better off because of our waiting season.
Another major lesson for me was to live an abundant life while waiting. I have difficulty with waiting and whenever I find myself in a temporary situation, I like to live in halves. If I’m crashing at a friend’s place as I wait for the repairs to be done in my house, I’d rather live out of my box, bring only my essentials, and be as minimalist in my lifestyle as possible. This should be expected because I’m living in another person’s space and not my space. However, I have noticed that I apply this live-out-of-your-box mentality to other aspects of my life that do not require that much minimalism. This book taught me to live an abundant life, to go all out and take care of myself while waiting, not penny-pinching and sour living, but abundance in all forms and different facets.
Another striking lesson I gleaned was to wait with patience, to quiet my heart when waiting, to rest in my Father’s love, and to trust that his ways, his plans, and his timing are the best for me. To invest myself wholly in whatever season I may find myself in and be assured in knowing that my God is working all things out for my good.
Avoiding emotional sabotage was another noteworthy point I picked up. While physical and social boundaries have been hammered upon, time and again, by our generation to ensure long-lasting relationships, the institution of emotional boundaries is something that I have never given much thought to before now, and this book taught me that emotional sabotage is birthed by a lack of emotional boundaries at the beginning of a relationship. Using unnecessary affectionate language, spending too much free time with someone, and serving them selflessly without defining the parameters of the relationship beforehand, are some examples of undefined emotional boundaries that can result in emotional sabotage in the long run.
Finally, a major gem I captured from this book was to ensure that whatever man you choose as a partner, must not just fit into your physical, emotional, and intellectual mould, he must also be a good fit into your spiritual life. Any man you pick as a mate will not just serve as your spouse, but also your co-labourer in ministry, the father of your children, and the person who prays with you when the chips are down. Spiritual intimacy is just as important as emotional and physical intimacy, and this should not be overlooked when choosing a partner.
These are just a few nuggets I got from this book, and if you’ve read it, I would love to hear your thoughts on it, if not, I recommend you check it out, then come back here to comment when you’re done.
Toodles!
