An Abyss of Hope
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I SIT IN INTROSPECTION
More often than not I stare down the depths of my soul to peek at the very fabric and essence that is me. And more often than not, I face the same inevitability.
When I look I stare blankly at an abyss, I assure you it stares right back in good humour. It engulfs me in its essence and is scary, but I am not afraid. Because I have once had a glimpse of its nature and contrary to the darkness you are picturing, is a light so bright that it is blinding. A light so bright that I can never make sense of its glory.
This light that guides the actions of men I like to think of this light as my essence, the point of my existence. Few people get to see this abyss or comprehend its meaning, hence why we see people quickly tear others down, chase clouts and indulge in helpless reprieves, hoping they may one day make sense of their own existence.
This is not the light that religion would make you believe or Hollywood would try to paint a picture of. No! This is a different kind of light. This is the light of possibilities, the light of hope. This is the light of courage and determination, the light of endless opportunities and knowledge and the light of love.
This is also the light of pain and hatred, of envy and spite, of sorrow and despair, of jealousy and ill intent. This is you in your purest form, untainted by the actions and inactions of your being.
I have once had the opportunity to see this light, which has given rise to my biggest fear ever since. The fear that I see each time I stop to look. This fear has become my companion and ally.
This is the fear of inadequacy. It’s the fear of not being good enough; some even go as far as to christen it, and they call it ‘Imposter Syndrome’. It is a daunting thought that lingers on and is never afraid to strum on the chords that make us tick. The very state of the world is proof that this is the daunting thought that plagues our lonely nights. That creeps up on us when we stop to meditate and find inner peace. So answering your question, yes! This is what I see when I look in introspection. I see a human battling with being everything and nothing. It’s like two sides of the same coin, forever biased as to not offer us absolution.
It’s easy to get lost in this abyss that is our existence. There are so many questions as there are answers. What I use to cope with this inevitability may not work for you, but it sure comforts my soul. It’s easy to lose sight of what is important and what matters most, it’s easy to get lost in a world of turmoil and disaster.
A wise man once said, ‘When there is life there is hope.’ Although this saying is often taken for granted, it sums up my introspection. When I look, when I look into that light, among the many many things I see, I always see hope.
“Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.” — Laini Taylor
Today’s blog post is by Hemense Lan. He is a developer and just decided to try writing (I probably suck at it though 😂) *his words not mine*. Anyways, if you want some more rambles you can follow him on Twitter
